What you don’t know about ‘Nerds’!

How many of us in the room(blog visitor's vicinity in this context ;-) ), have ever been proclaimed or referred to as a nerd? C’mon guys, we can be honest, and hopefully nobody else is around, raise your hands(to yourself). Don’t worry, it’s ok to be a nerd! In fact, it’s fabulous to be one.  Why?..

Because: Nerds are nerds <virtuoso learners/assimilators>, not nerds <lull, dull, unattractive and boringly studious>.

Wikipedia says 'Nerd' is a pejorative term used to describe a person who is overly intellectual, socially impaired or obsessive about technology, fiction or fantasy, with almost no regard to mainstream activities like sports, movies etc.

And in the average non-nerdy terms: Big, thick spectacles, shy & socially awkward introvert, lost in his/her own world, with bare min or no maneuver of striking up attention grabbing, interesting conversations.

I don't fit in that frame of reference, just described? Do I ? Not really, right? Don't give me that look... I am not crazy, my mom had me tested. Bazinga! :-)

Being a nerd for the most of my life and having known so many others, as friends and family, I have a very different take on nerds. I would summarize that in 3 key points. It’s not an exhaustive list but self-sufficient. Firstly,

1. Nerds have a life, beyond books: Many of us like reading blogs, articles, novels, fiction/non–fiction, and some love newspapers. Sadly, while common people are called avid readers, know the term for nerds? 

"Bookworms!"

My college junior looked really puzzled the first time we had a conversation about music, movies, LAN games etc. I invited her to my room to explore my collection. She paused for a while and said “But, we have heard stories of how dangerous it is to step inside your room”. I was like, what, "dangerous?". Then she says(mockingly), "Yes, your batch mates say that it rains books in your room all the time, chances are that I will be drowned or hurt.”

When she discovered my library of 37 GB songs, 50 GB movies etc., she realized that nerds are not maniacs, and being submerged in books is not the sheer source of pleasure.

Likewise, most of my nerdy friends, take great interest in movies, drama, music, sports etc.

Secondly,

2. Nerds aren't a closed community: Nerds befriend 'nerds' and only 'nerds', but that’s not true. While you may say that birds of a feather flock together, for the kinship connection they share. I would remind you of the old saying that opposites attract, like protons attract electrons.

Nerds are not at all a closed fraternity. Not all of my friends are nerds. Some of the most jovial, fun, entertaining, terrifying, rebellious and violent(of course, no terrorists) people have me in their circles. It’s not that way from day 1, many of them dreaded the idea of talking to me initially because of the same misconception. But after collaborating on some of the most memorable pranks and mischiefs, building strategies for things, from troubling staff to class bunks to strikes, the line of me being nerdy and they not, almost blurred.

And last but not the least,

3. Nerds aren’t teachers’ pets: Remember the mean, unfair terminologies, commonly used for nerds:

a. Helping teachers/lecturers carry books & answer sheets is 'Bootlicking',

b. Appreciating them for genuine reason makes you 'Moron'

c. Agree to them for just once and you become a 'Loser' 

In fact most others would keep an eye on how many times did you visit the staff room, or received favors due to your past good performance etc. In fact, for many, a nerdy + a teacher = a dog + its owner.

I remember, during one of the lectures, I was a little unwell and  so, was sitting down quietly amongst clamor. The faculty inquired if it was the noisy/talkative batch-mates or him (in a funny tone) that’s bothering me. I ignored the question, for obvious reasons. While everyone else was busy talking, almost everyone knew of the question just raised. 

He repeated his question a few more times, indicating that he expects an answer, that too in his favor. Ultimately, I said, you know, the classmates are great, I love their company. That's why I am here in spite of being ill. I did not bother about the take away for him, but I wasn't lying. It did result in a burst of giggles in the room. He was offended for sure. I thought "Bazinga! I don't care, you forced me say the truth!". I cared only later when I almost flunked in his subject(got only passing mark). Reason?, that goes without saying.

Next time you see a nerd, take him/her aside. And say, I know you have a life beyond books, nerds do befriend normal people, not just nerds and you aren’t even a teacher’s pet. I know all of that, now tell me who you are and what makes you, ‘YOU’. 

I outlined just 3 points but I believe there are many more mind-blowing facts yet to be revealed. So, just pay a bit more attention and wipe out all your misconceptions to discover the implicit and unnoticed explicit awesomeness of the beautiful creatures called nerds. And who knows, you might run into next Marissa Mayer, Cristiano Ronaldo and may be even Russell Peters.

Disclaimer: This was the content of my third speech at toastmasters club at SAP. This is certainly not the exact replica(some examples have been omitted).

Random Act of Kindness - 1

Lot many discussions of late made me think and rethink about the intensity with which cynicism is scaling up. Media is busy selling negativity, which by and large emphasizes that humanity is dying. I have hardly ever seen any news in the recent past with kindliness propaganda.

Anyways..

“Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.” 

― Desmond Tutu

Having had a conversation on this topic some time ago, I decided to post one accidental act of kindness I witness(ed), at least once a week. I am sure altruistic ripples are in abundance too, if only we start paying attention.

I was walking down my way to home. There were two poor little boys slightly ahead of me. In a fraction of seconds, I noticed a girl trying to catch up with them. She managed to overtake and then asked them to stop. I was amazed, so were those two. I cut down my speed because I wondered what she was up to.

She looked for something in her bag. And the very next moment, she handed over a chocolate bar to two of them. I could see how their eyes lit up with awe. They stared at her in stupefaction. She smiled and walked away!

Life's Not Fair..!!

When ported to this world, did we know the difference between being born in a hospital with 5 star facilities and being born at a government hospital, with no doctor, and maybe 50 miles from your home. But now that we know, do we ever spend time celebrating the event, a luxurious birth or cry over a rather modest one? I doubt! ..

Who said Life was/is fair, or it will ever be? 

My belief is, no matter what the problem is, there are always ways to deal with it!

Many of my friends and acquaintances are software professionals. Every single time we talk, they would ask this: why have I been working for the same company for 4 long years?(that's not the trend right? :-) ). I had and have always countered them, politely of course, saying, ‘Why don’t you suggest me one where employees are fully satisfied, have no complaints about system being partial and unfair.  Next reaction: “Oh yeah, you work with SAP, a great company, why would you even consider switching. It's a product company, nobody is on bench, great work culture, flexible work timings, you don't have an inhumane manager”. I almost always smile at this and think "My dear friends, nothing in the world is perfect. It’s all about perception. And we need to crush that. That's point no. 1. Accept your situation, accept that life is biased/partial. Accept that the circumstances for you and I are not same and they will never be. And that we don't have the same start and finish lines." 

Not that I am saying, SAP is not great, it is, but there are always pros and cons, and you need to prioritize & choose among options, with things you really need and things, you may ignore/put on halt, those you can manage to live without. So, that brings me down to point no. 2: Prioritize & Choose. For me it's important to have something that drags me away from any comfort zone, much before it gets built, have my time for experimentation/exploration, challenge me, with enormous opportunities to connect/collaborate with and have smart people around etc.

Instead of weeping over your luck conspiring against you, look the difficulty straight into its eyes and give it a hard time. This takes me back to college days. It was the advent of 5^th semester exams, I felt unwell. Well, who doesn’t ;-)? I thought it’s just viral and managed to get done with 2 exams. A day before the 3rd one, I felt really weak, so decided to see a doctor. Typhoid was diagnosed. He prescribed some medication and asked me to take rest and not study hard enough (since I did sound like a broken record with "it’s exam, it's exam, it's exam the next day). It started taking a toll on me that night, at around 10:00 pm, high fever, fluctuating between 105-106 degrees. That was it, it numbed me. My friends called up the doc. He suggested further medication. I took those pills (my friends managed to get them from somewhere at 2:00 am), but temperature didn’t come down, only added to weakness and caused drowsiness. Friends called the doc again. Poor guy, got frustrated and said "forget exams, if life continues, she would be able to face lots of them". That was deafening, not appearing for more than 50% exams meaning, repeating an entire semester, and in engineering terms, an entire year.  That’s unfair, while everyone else was studying hard to score more or pass, and I was stuck with “If I would be able to make it.” Next morning, I was unable to stand on my own till 7:45 am(all thanks to my doc, who gave tranquilizers to pacify me, without letting us know), 8:30 was exam, at a place 15 mins away.  That was the tripping point. I decided to go for it, what did I have to lose further. I managed to scribble something on the answer sheet, god only knew what and almost fainted as soon as the bell rang. Not to say, I topped that semester. So here comes the next point. “It's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair and easy/tempting to give up. Choose to Fight. Fight Back through the darkness because there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

A wise man once said(tweaked by me a little bit ;-) ), when life gives you lemons, you may either curse yourself for being unfortunate or life as it picked you or envy people who got “sweet lemons”, else you can make some lemonade, sit back, relax & enjoy it with your favorite movie. And if it gives you way too many lemons, then I would suggest you to consider a lemonade stand business and of course make some money.

Life isn’t fair, unfortunately it's a knock-out game. It does not matter whether you're up or down, feeling high or low, what matters is how you play the game of life. So embellish it and relish it but don’t give up. To ease the journey you may use this 3 point mantra: 

1. Accept your situation

2. Prioritize & Choose among your options 

3. And of course, Fight Back!

PS: This was the content of my second speech at Toastmasters club at SAP. I like to discuss philosophical topics, so it is one from that bouquet. I never could get enough words to thank all of you, my friends(you all know who you're), who made every effort possible for my ship to sail through difficult yet critical times. Thanks is too small/less a word, so I rather choose not to say that. Cheers! :-)

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