How many of us in the room(blog visitors in this case) have watched “3 Idiots”? Quite a few..huh! Then, I guess you remember the gist of Dean’s commencement speech at the onset of the new student batch, every year:
Life is a race ... if you don't run fast ... you will be like a broken undaa..
which means
Life is a race ... and if you don't run fast ... you will get trampled. Someone will walk over you.
Quite a many parents that I know, take quotations like these really seriously. Most of them want their kids to excel academically in their school and college journeys, score highest marks, not because they want them to be better human beings, learn life lessons, to be able to weigh risks, absorb failures and make better decisions, but because it’s among one of the most gratifying socially accepted trump cards, they may use to flaunt, as and when they desire. Well, I have not attended one or been the subject in any, but I hear(d) of the kitty part chit-chats(from my friends) where moms say something like this "Oh, your son/daughter scored only x in the Maths, my daughter/son has got y(>x). or something similar."
Now, I will put this car in reverse gear to let you all have a sneek-peek in the flashback.
Last period, we were handed over the report card of half yearly exams of second grade. It resulted in the outburst of a tumult in the classroom. Five of us who were very really good friends, were also the highest scorers(from time immemorial..;-) ). Then rang the bell ”ting ting ting..” at sharp 2:00 pm, and it was time to go home. I was packing up my stuff, thinking of the party at home. End of exams and results(not just school exam results) were always celebrated at home for the hard work, irrespective of performance. 3 of my friends signed off and rushed to their buses.
I was all set to leave the classroom. That's when I noticed that a friend of ours, was quietly sitting down there, on the first bench. She stood third and had done really well compared to previous exams in second grade. She looked dull, sad and depressed, completely lost in her own world. I cheerfully asked her if she had plans to go home. She did not reply.
I walked up to her and repeated my question. She behaved like a person, deaf and dumb. I could sense that she was upset, so I sat next to her and whispered “Ghar nahi jaana hai kya..Don’t you wanna go home? We will miss the bus!” She replied back in a shaky voice “ I don’t want to”. I was dumbfounded. I could never imagine myself or anybody else saying that. I inquired if she was unwell. I checked but she did not have fever. She paused for a while and after a brief gaze, looked away from me. I can still remember that face of hers. She was looking down at her shoes, eyes red as if a boiling hot water spring, volcanoes of tears at the verge of eruption and she was shivering like hell. Next moment, I could see tears rolling down her face. I sat down there, quietly. Sometimes, silence is golden, you know(in fact, all the time ;-) ).
After a minute or two, she strangled the air of hush “You have no idea. You don’t know my mom." I said “Let me remind you, I met your mom on your last birthday. And of course, I do remember the chocolate cake, with wonderful topping.”
She continued ”I scored lesser than you. She won’t give me lunch and dinner.” I tried to appease her “Hey, it’s just 12 marks. It doesn’t matter. Go home and relax”. She muffled “She will scold me. Last time she beat me with a steel rod”. I could never imagine getting beaten up for a few marks. I thought she was exaggerating. So, somehow convinced her to board the bus.
I noticed her bruised hands and swollen face, the next day. It had a deep, everlasting impact on me.
My brother once scored some percentage of marks in a subject(lower than anybody else in my family). Nobody was angry with him. My parents instead would talk patiently, try to understand the impediments and then encourage, lighting up the candle of self-confidence and intrinsic motivation to perform better next time. If we were ill, they would not let us study(compulsion to study is totally out of question in any case). They never compared us with our peers. I was never and will ever be scared to go home.
We hear of the spike in the student suicides every other day, which just leaves me pondering :
If only those parents could be like mine, a bit more supportive, a bit more understanding and offer a helping hand, we would not see so many students switching off their power supply to bid goodbye to this wonderful, colorful, amazingly exciting and unexplored world of opportunities. If only it was a race to betterment, not a race to death, death of a child’s spark, his/her aspirations and eventually his/her demise in the moments passing by.
If only it was a race to betterment and not a race to death!
PS: This was the content of my fourth speech in today's meeting, Toastmasters club @ SAP. Feedback is welcome. Have a pleasant day! :-)
