Time Heals Everything..!!

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Jalaluddin Rumi

Almost all my friends, most of my classmates except that from 11th & 12th grade and family would agree that I was/am quite obstinate, mischievous, persistent and ..other things.. But, I learnt a lot of life lessons pretty early, through experiences, peculiar and strange ones. As someone I know says, it's not your age but the kind of experiences you have had, matters..and I couldn't agree more.. :-)

This one is an experience from either the 3rd or the 4th grade. We used to play different versions of tag games in the classroom(we had a huge one to run around) during all the three breaks, 10 mins, followed by 30 mins and the last 10 mins break at school. The goal used to be to eat up the lunch in less than 5 mins so that you can free up as much time as you could to run around. And that wasn't difficult, given the fact, that we had so many people in the group.

Well, it was just another day,  the 30 mins break, and we were playing the elimination tag game. I (the only one left untagged) and 'it', the zombie tagger, (one of my dear friends, from back then was running after me) were going up & down the benches/desks and swifting through the spaces amid them, laid out in pairs forming an 8 by 3 grid. She was getting really close and I made a rather brisk 'U' turn, was definitely far out of her reach this time but running straight into another kid( I guess I could take the liberty to call a 3rd or 4th grader a kid). A moment later, all I could feel was a type of brain numbness,a sensation that I can't jot down on paper now and seconds later, the only thing I could feel was that something did hurt really bad, all I could see was a lot of blood on my shirt, on my hands and on my face. I still couldn't understand what happened because the chap I had a disastrous collision with, looked ok, no bruises, no cuts, sort of looked normal though definitely amazed, big time.

All my friends rushed me to the first aid room, and one of the teachers did give me some kind of first aid which I don't remember now. But they wouldn't tell me what happened. I definitely couldn't see my face but the lower part of my face hurt real bad. They called up my parents but didn't tell them much except that I needed to be picked up from school ASAP. It was raining really bad and school was quite far away from where we lived. My dad could come and pick me up in about 30 to 40 mins. He was quite shocked and took me to a clinic straight away but due to bad weather, we couldn't find any decent doctor.

When I reached home and looked at my face in the mirror, I realized that I didn't have a lower lip anymore and the lower part of my face was swollen like that of a monkey. Next few weeks brought immense pain and discomfort trying to eat or drink just anything. I wasn't comfortable going to school for a couple of days and I did bunk it for a week(for the first time ever). My parents have been the most supportive parents ever. When I did return to school, it gave me an odd one out type feeling in the classroom, especially when most of my friends/teachers felt sorry for me and in a way made it worse than it actually was. I thought that was forever, that I would live the rest of my life with that pain and with one lip only, until I saw it regenerating during the course of next 6-12 weeks. 

That painful journey is something that I can never forget. But, that made me learn few things:

1. Time heals everything, just give time 'Time'

2. Every pain makes you way stronger than you ever were

3. I am very comfortable being the 'Odd one out' in all settings since then

And as they say:

“I'd rather be a little weird than all boring.” 

― Rebecca McKinsey

Another Crazy Encounter..!!

I have learnt it very well that I am destined to have all sorts of adventures. So, a spiel from last Saturday. I was waiting for a bus with few others(people of rather different origin) in San Francisco. Then, appeared a rather tall, old stout lady, who gave all of us a stare and asked(rather ordered) us to move away, make some space for her, for, 'she was a disabled and had a heart attack'(exactly her words, indirect speech), some days ago. But, the way she behaved, it felt like everyone else around her was an untouchable soul.

She made her way to the bench, almost pushing everyone around, mumbling something, not sure what she was referring to but her gestures hinted that she particularly disliked me for no apparent reason. I was confused because we had never seen each other before this moment, and it was not even a minute or two since she was there. There was no apparent for being disliked, especially as that Indian instinct makes you rather more courteous with old people. I could sense that there was something wrong with her but I couldn't gauge what could that possibly be. This lady, a couple and I were waiting for the same bus. There were others waiting for a different bus.

The bus arrived in about 5 mins from then. There was no space to hop in from the front door. The driver asked us to use the backdoor. There was just enough space for 4/5 people. We made our way into the bus, the old lady sprinted(lumbered). I felt bad for her so I tried to occupy as less space as I could to make more room for her. But then, being nice and/or respectful has its own disadvantages(sometimes). I could read anger on her face. She barged in abruptly, rather forcefully, stamped my feet hard (and for the record, I am sure she did it intentionally, I could read it all over her). She gave me a stare, went past me, and then pushed a few passengers away(from the seat meant for disabled passengers). And then she told them, "Sorry, I didn't mean to touch you guys".....Seriously?

The bus just went past the first stop from where we started(barely 1/1.5 blocks), when she got back up and asked me to get my hands off the pole(the only support I could reach and hold on to). I didn't want to pick a fight with her(she definitely had more strength than me(considering how tall and bulky she was,in spite of being older, sometimes you need to pick your battles :-)) . And, for some reason, I still felt bad for her.

So, I held on to a lower portion of the pole, leaving the other three quarters+ of the pole for her support, But she yelled at me, saying " I am disabled and I had a heart attack." By now, I had had enough, so I gave it back to her this time "So, that's why you want me to have a heart attack now(sarcastically)?".

I was standing near the rear door and felt like she was going to get down on the next stop, so I tried to make some extra space for her. She pushed me(literally this time), (but some other passengers who were observing this drama) held my hand and pulled me back up and yelled at her "She has given you ample of space. Where do you want her to go?" I was surprised but people did care a lot about the whole incident. I was baffled but the situation was so strange that I ended up laughing. I laughed briefly because I was going through this experience(it reminded me of one of my autistic classmates who bullied me in school one time :-), almost pulled my hair out, literally and I didn't do anything because I took pity on her). I definitely, did not want to offend the old lady.  I wasn't even looking at her. She came closer, made some weird faces and said "I will f*%@ing kill you bitch". I had no idea what just happened. But a few other people on the bus started yelling at her, another lady pulled me further back in. The old lady turned around, towards me,  and a guy got in between..

This happened in a drive less than 0.4 miles long and it occurred so fast, that I couldn't believe it was real. She got down at the second stop. Everyone in the bus seemed relax now. Those girls who were pushed away from the seats, did not sit back there(in fact no one took those two seats for a while) and were making fun of her for rest of the time.

And, I ? ...I was still amazed.

Courtesy: Pixabay

“Calling it lunacy makes it easier to explain away the things we don't understand.” 

― Megan Chance

Fear No Colors..!!

Morn, that passed

Small hours gawked,

Anergy stalked

Antsiness clogged,

Hysteria plaused

Volition thy mocked;

Seethe gagged within, 

Yon, can be logged?

Hither methinks,

Pretense thy hocked

Aught, a fool's broach!

Whatever Happens..!!

I was reading this post "Hypothetical Scenarios: If you were ever held at gunpoint, what would you say to the gunman" on quora the other day. Though, I didn't realize 'why' then...

Every time I hear about an incident that involves someone held at gunpoint, it scratches the surface of an event buried deep down somewhere, something I had gotten over the very next hour it happened. I never did think or felt the need to think about it again(until a few days back, and I don't know why), nor did I converse about it with anyone, neither family nor friends. I know it happened(what/why/how for some other day, and in some other post) but I am cent percent, at peace with this memory ever since it occurred. An experience that taught me a great deal about life, about how important it is to smell the roses.

“There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be...” 

― John Lennon

I always mocked at those scenes in movies, in which the protagonist goes into a realm of flashback, moment(s) before they die or are about to die, thinking of all that they missed to do and/or people they couldn't bid adieu to, one last time. I thought that did not make any sense, no one could think about anything else but getting out of that situation, saving their lives(somehow) when faced with a deadly situation like that. There is no doubt it could be different for each person.

When that barrel was pressed hard against the back of my head, I learnt more than I could in a rather long time..

• Smell the roses, while you can, life could be too short and unimaginably unpredictable.
• Closures are important, including the last goodbye to your loved ones, family, friends and well-wishers.
• Human brain is astonishing. The number and the spectrum of thoughts that could run through, in a split second, could never be gauged.
• Survival instincts are hard-wired, doesn't require any practice.
• And now, when it's over : "Whatever happens, I'm ready to face it."  ― Ernie Harwell .. All set to face worst of the worst :-)

The 911 Experience..!!

I have had this story to share, since, over a month but I didn't know where to start with, writer's block as they as

But then..

“You cannot shine if you are unused, for then you will rust and deflate.” 

― Phindiwe Nkosi, Behind the Hospital

so would be the case with my writing skills. I can't work on and improve it, if I stop writing just because I am not in the flow.

So, here's how I am going to narrate this one. This may not be the best way to ink an experience as grand as this one but never mind ;-) . 

I and another girl(now a friend) were staying with an 89 year old Chinese American lady(landlady), who was doing pretty well (considering the fact that she is so old) until week 2 after I moved in. We used to share conversations, at least 10/15 minutes per day in common areas of the house. She told me about her life stories, that she had to move to the US several years ago, bidding adieu to her dad & home forever at a very young age, how she navigated through the streets of NYC, with a dream and hope to move to California one day(which as per her, and some others I know, is the best place to live in the world), that dream which she could share only with her diary until she could achieve it one day, how she struggled and worked hard to buy a house in San Francisco, lost it all and then made her way out through thick and thin, persevering hard to be where she is today. I admire the energy and zeal that she has towards life, to be by herself, the enthusiasm and hope to live another 10 years, and the way she said that she would be really happy and contented if she could do that. I still remember the zeal with which she played the piano and sang a song for me, not only that, she made me sing a (Hindi) song too(as some might know, this doesn't happen that often ;-) ).

I mean, I have met several people over the course of my life, but have not seen anyone with that kind of fervor towards life. 

Anyway, I wrote that all just to let you imagine how it felt to see her lying on the floor, in an unconscious state, as soon as I entered the house one evening. She did mention about her episodes of vertigo during one of those conversations but I could never think that it can be that bad. I had a rather long day and was quite tired. I knew there is 911(in the US) help available in case of medical emergencies, but I had never really seen a medical emergency, even back home(in India), forget medical emergency, I have not really taken anyone to a hospital or went along with someone to see a doctor ever. It was hard for me to judge if it was a medical emergency for real. I tried to talk to her but she was just blabbering something. It was kind of clear that she couldn't comprehend what was going on, around her.

I called her son up a few times, who lives in the bay area as well, who would probably be the best person to come to a resolution but he didn't pick up the phone. I left a voicemail, texted him but all in vain. I called up the other housemate then, to help me gauge the situation. It was another 20/25 minutes with just me and her(the landlady) in the house.

With every single minute passing by, I felt as if I was risking someone's life because of my indecisiveness. I remembered she had always been hesitant about going to a hospital or seeing a doctor, especially due to the cost of medical help here. I tried to explain her that she seemed to be in a very bad shape, and that she needs medical help but even then(when it was pretty clear that she had no idea how bad her condition was), she managed to say in her quivering low voice that she didn't want to go to any hospital. 

Finally, the other roommate was there and she felt that landlady's close/old friend(one of our neighbors) could guide and that we didn't need 911 help. She decided to go call her and I stayed back with the old lady. I felt that she seemed worse than she did 30 mins ago. I, finally took the matter in hand and called 911. It was one hell of a experience. They ask you all sort of questions over phone, from, "if you are the patient or if you are with the patient", "questions about patient's condition and how critical did it seem", "relation, family member's availability, medical history, allergies....." and give you instructions to keep clear the way, for the medical team, have the medical card/record/insurance etc. and other sorts of information ready...so on and so forth..and they stay on line with you until the team arrives.

I kept the door open as per the instructions and within a span of 3/4 mins, a team of 10/15 people rushed past the main door(guided by me), crossing the hallway, straight towards her room. They asked most of the questions that I mentioned earlier plus a ton more, for most of which I had no answer. The neighbor and my other housemate were here too by then. They diagnosed her, all thanks to Teledoc, portable medical equipments etc. Amidst the clamor, did I hear that some kept complaining about the user interface (the app was upgraded a few days ago). Sorry, but I couldn't help ignore this one.

Finally, after 45 mins(or so) of diagnosis and remote consultation, they were sure she required medical supervision and the next stop was the emergency room at Stanford Medical Center.  They asked about her family members and then we tried calling her son, a few more times and we could finally reach him.

It all started at around 7:25 pm and we were finally on the way to the hospital at around 9:45ish. We reached there by 10:00 pm. Her son was in by 10:45 pm, wearing a smile(like seriously?, he wasn't out here for an evening walk) . We went to see her one by one (since in emergency care, only one person can be in, to see the patient, at a time) and were on the way back home at around 12:50 am(not to mention that it was a weekday and we did go to work next day). After a couple of days, she was moved to a senior living place until she be fit enough to claim her independent status back. I hope she will get there soon..

And, for me, it's a memoir, that very few experience in a foreign country, in less than a year. And, I don't think I would ever forget, either her, her story or this episode.

Experience Unexperienced, Always..!!

“Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.” 

 ― Aldous Huxley

Experiences, especially the not so good ones, builds your 'Pandora', of

a. Memories: memories, your life would be colorless blank canvas without; and

b. Stories: stories, that let you get familiar with, and touch your inner reflections, as you live them.

Besides, stories(non-fiction) and memories that you will cherish and treasure for a lifetime.

It's about little over a year ago, I was waiting at the airport to catch the flight back home(yeah, the place that had been home for over 6 months), from Vegas to Philadelphia. I had spoken to one of the flight attendants(that worked for that airlines then) in shuttle, on the way from hotel to the airport. I don't remember the exact words but she spoke about how happy she was working for that company(Spirit) and she hoped that the flight she's gonna attend(from Vegas to Denver as far as I remember) doesn't get cancelled. No, she never spoke of the route, from Vegas to Philadelphia. But something about that conversation told me that, may be the flight that I was supposed to board that day, wouldn't take off.

I had never traveled with Spirit, before that instance, in fact as yet ;-). And I am sure I will never ever take that chance again. Spirit airlines was/is not well known, and was/is supposedly a low cost carrier(not so much in my case because the fare was a little over 120$, for which you might get a ticket of United or American Airlines flight, considering that I booked it almost 3 weeks in advance. If I have a choice to pick between an option I have had a taste of, versus the one I did not ever try, at approximately the same opportunity cost, I tend to pick the latter. 

“Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.” 

― Paulo Coelho, Brida

Well, flight delays don't seem to be an exception, in any case here. During every roundtrip of mine, there have always been delays, considerable delays, in at least one leg of the journey. So, was this time, I passed the security screening, almost 40 mins prior to departure, and was at the boarding gate, waiting, like all other passengers. I spoke to my mom for a couple of minutes, while I said, I don't think this flight is gonna take off tonight, for unknown reasons. Very soon, we noticed that some other airline representatives called up the passengers to board from that gate.  We didn't see even a single representative from Spirit there, then. We asked around, only to find out that they delayed LAS-PHL flight by an hour. Again, for an hour after an hour, and then an hour.... Finally, we were supposed to board the flight at 11:20 pm but there hadn't been any announcement of any sort till 11:45 pm.

Most passengers were quite upset and angry by then. There was not any flight for that route after that ,for 7/8 hours. I walked up to one of the representatives and said, "I have a feeling that this flight is not gonna take off, can you please confirm?, so that we can look for alternatives". She said there isn't enough information to confirm anything as of now. She got on to the phone. I stood there waiting. Then there she goes "The crew did not show up and we will have to cancel the flight". I was like '" Are you kidding me, the whole crew did not show up. I have never heard of that as an excuse?", especially after the conversation I had, with that cent percent satisfied employee of yours. I saw the pilot walking out from the boarding gate, a few seconds later, all  by himself and no other crew member. She then asked me to check with  the reservation guys, if they can put me on an alternate flight.  So, that was confirmed.

I was almost the first passenger to find out about this, so I thought I will wind up the post cancellation part asap. I rushed to the airline booth at the ticketing area, and there was no other passenger. So, I asked them to find me an alternate. They did not even know about the flight cancellation till then. That was ridiculous. By the time, I convinced them of that fact, there was a long queue of passengers on the other 2 booths, booths which were supposed to handle cancellations. That really seemed like a joke to me. There seemed to be far more people than the capacity of one flight, in that queue.  I was now supposed to join the end of that queue. On my way to the queue, I found out that the airlines cancelled  around 7 flights from Vegas.

I had never seen something like that before, a totally new experience. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I could hear frustrated people, families and couples talking to each other. I probably thought I will experience this for a while and then leave, if it takes a lot of time. I joined the queue of over 1000 people too( I was smiling or rather laughing for reasons I don't know, maybe because the situation was too new and thrilling for me) and standing there in that queue, waiting, people started talking to others, strangers, blabbering about their frustration. I talked to a lot of interesting people in that queue, especially to those 4/5 ahead and behind me. I checked for the alternate options online and the cheapest flight to PHL then was around 250$, the evening next day and the earliest one for around $700, 7:30 in the morning. One of the guys said that he had hardly gathered enough money to materialize this trip and he wouldn't be able to go home if they don't buy him a ticket. And I heard so many more stories of that sort. I could afford to buy another ticket but that just did not feel right or may be thrilling then, for whatever reasons.

Plus, I have had enough of Vegas, scorching heat and smoke, a total turn off. It seemed far more exciting to stay there, experience that instance and talk to those people, than going back to a hotel or some lame gambling table. 6( 2 behind and 3 ahead of me) of us shared great conversation, considering we had enough time. I also found out that all other people in that line had already gotten their luggage back. I only had a small carry on sized item, checked-in and I had no damn clue about where it was then. My idea of perfect travel is the one for which you don't have to carry anything with you :D.

I discovered a lot about myself and other people, that night.  I did not know till then that I had the endurance of standing for 7.5 hours in a row(without food/water), plus letting go of my sleep, for something as strange as this. Yeah, other passengers did settle down on the floor after an hour or two. But, the idea of sitting on the airport floor did not appeal to me at all.  

That was slowest moving queue I had ever seen in my life.  Those reservation booth guys took a meal break in between at 1:30, putting all the work on halt, being completely indifferent to passengers. I ain't in any way suggesting that idea of leaving that damn queue away and checking-in into a hotel instead, did not cross my mind at all. But running away from a battle half way, wasn't/isn't me. Either you choose not to fight or you fight till the end, no matter what ;-)(maybe subconsciously I picked this one). Somewhere around 2:30 am was the end of shift for those representatives and then came a new set of reps. People cursed the new set as much as that they did the old bunch. 

I also did realize that it's far more frustrating to wait when you are almost there, a few steps(passengers in this case) away from your destination. Finally, after overcoming all that, 6 of us felt that it could be our chance any minute, after those 7 passengers ahead of us, at around 5:00 am. But, a lady was negotiating so hard, I don't know what, she took more than an hour and wasn't done yet. Few people came out of nowhere and claimed that they were ahead of us. I think we were quite polite, so we let them in. I finally made it to the counter, probably at 6:45 am and was pretty exhausted/sleepy, maybe also too upset by then. 

The lady at the booth offered me an option to fly out, two days from then. That was a joke in itself. That was some sort of a trigger and there was no way on this earth was I going to accept it. I told her that I have a flight back to India in 4 days and I don't trust their airlines anymore. Even, if I did, flying 2 days later is not an option. She said there isn't any other option available. I had already looked for my options before my turn. I told her that there is a US airways flight at 7:30, you may put me on that. She said that option is not being displayed on the list she had. I could see that very well on my phone and it had 2 seats remaining when I made it to the counter. I asked her to try again but all she did was apologise and requested to take the option she offered. I was not going to take no for an answer after all this. I asked her to put me on the next US airways flight, approx at 9:30. She said that option was not showing either.  At that moment, I lost the little patience left and I asked her to show her screen to me. 

She pretended to turn the screen towards me but she did not really do that and I could not see anything. All thanks to her effort and my height. These are the moments when you wish if only you had been taller :D. But, I had no intention to give up and I requested her to check once again. She had the same reply. Something occurred to me and I found myself standing on the weighing scale the very next moment, to be able to see what she claimed. I had never imagined myself doing something as crazy as that. 

I asked her to try again and show the results to me. I asked her to keep scrolling down and there it was, the US airways LAS-PHL flight at 9:30 that day, worth 750$. I asked her to book that one for me and there she goes "That option can't be selected, that's not covered by the airline policy. She offered me another one with 1 stopover at Chicago and then something with 2 stopovers at Denver and NYC". And I was thinking, "I am not going to settle for anything else." I requested her to let me speak to her manager. She mentioned that wouldn't change anything. I said it's ok, would you please call him/her? Turns out she was standing besides her and looking on a case for some other passenger.  This rep I was dealing with interrupted her boss and said that she is asking for $750 alternate which is not covered by airline policy. She looked at me briefly(maybe for a second), standing on that weighing machine and asked her to give me whatever I was asking for ;-). All of that happened in less than 10/12 mins, time I reached the counter to the time I left with a ticket in my hand :D. Few people behind me asked and I told them to stick to the option they want and not settle for anything less than that.

I met a lot of people on my way to/in a restaurant, who were given options for 2/3 days later and/or with several stop-overs. Finally, when we did board the flight at 10:30, we found out that only a handful of us were given that desirable option. Sad, really sad. But in some corner of my mind, I am glad it happened. And if I had an option to start over in this case, I am very likely to be doing the same thing. I enjoyed that tiring experience and now, I have a story to tell :-).