'I' Can .. True Story #1

“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” 

― Maya Angelou

I believe in

"Celebrating everything that can be celebrated and appreciating everything that can be appreciated" :-)

And then appreciate the voyager anyway, "just for the journey",  for the guts to go sailing when the tides were high.

A friend reached out to me for some career advice(not that I am an expert), quite a while ago. She sounded confused and upset about her career trajectory(but tell me, who isn't? ;-) ). Just a couple of minutes chatting with her, signaled, she felt lost and islanded in the land of nowhere. IMHO, she spent some quality time, with moments of self discovery and introspection(time that's never wasted), all the while. She won races which few would dare run. 

I was in bit of a rush. So, I asked her to drop me a mail with all that she did (learnt the power of writing down one's thoughts over the course of last 2-3 years, this one really works). 

Here's a snippet of her story in my words. 

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A bunch of 20(18 male and 2 female electrical engineers) graduate engineer trainees joined  Kalpataru Power, a company in the business of bulk transfer of electrical energy from plants to substations. The business is supposedly an equal opportunity employer.  

These fellows were being trained to help management, set up a new plant in Raipur, and make it operational. The team included a few more females(5-6 percent of total number) in HR and design department. They laid down a training plan, the two female trainees were to be versed with production planning while the rest were being intensively trained in all aspects of power transmission and its operations. Males trailed their hands on shop floor, they worked in raw yard, cutting yard, fabrication, notching zone, bending zone, galvanizing unit , finish yard and what not. Not that these girl fellows chose their way. It wasn't a matter of choice, but a perceptive measure of their capabilities. 

Where there's a will, there's always atleast one way!

I am glad that they didn't let this perception be a reality. They fought for and earned a fair opportunity, proved their mettle, making their way to tonnes of appreciation and respect. My friend attributes a fair share of credit to her fellow 'Gujju'( she has a very high opinion of them) colleagues.

At the end of the training, were they sent to the new plant, in Raipur. A stranded place, perhaps naxalite area, far away from the city, where nobody wanted to work. As she described: "It was new, the office was yet to be constructed. Their refuge was a makeshift office. It was so new that it had only one restroom, common for men and women. These two had to fight a battle, 3 months long, to have this problem solved". 

They loved the work and dealt with all the challenges on the road ahead, putting their hearts and souls into it. They as well did the clerical paperwork, which had nothing to do with their job profile.  Kudos for that.

And then came the day, when parent of the other lady visited the two. Her dad decided to take her back, that very moment. She was on a month's notice period, when my dear friend's(soon to be the only girl there) family wanted her to quit the job as well. She did find her next adventure in power transmission industry, but with another company.

That speaks for itself, for the tenacy and persistence, of the demoiselle :-)

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We had a few more conversations on this topic after the email. Turns out, she enjoyed the writing part, and it was helpful in some way. 

PS : I promised her(you know who you are) that I would feature this story on my blog(well, that's how I convinced her to write about it), the coming Friday from that day, almost 6 months ago.  Fridays came and Fridays went, it did not happen. And finally, Tuesday it is..!! There you go. Sorry for the delay...

Criticism Isn't Always Fault-Finding..!!

“The motive behind criticism often determines its validity. Those who care criticize where necessary. Those who envy criticize the moment they think that they have found a weak spot.”  ― Criss Jami, Killosophy

A true critic gives you cues & clues and motivates you find your own ways to improve, to make a step closer to perfection. As much as is important to receive criticism, it's necessary to take a step back, to think through, spot critic's ulterior motives. Not all people sharing constructive criticism are plotting against you and not all your friends (every person in our lives would lie somewhere, in one of those concentric social circles of trust, the closer the circle to the center(you), higher the level of trust) would be fairly critical.

In fact, a true/genuine analyst paves the way for you to grow & succeed, not fail. My personal belief is as quoted below:


“To call you my critic is to call you my friend.”  ― Karen E. Quinones Miller

and I just could not agree to this any more...



This reminds me,  of:

Number 1 :  authentic feedback from a quite few people on my writing skills. A lot of them did ask me on how could they improve on theirs(although I feel and I know, I am not an expert. In fact, I communicate with a lot of people(who are way better than me) over mails, not texts/SMS(I have never liked SMS/text lingo), just to polish and learn better ways to communicate and,

Number 2: Lots of incidents from the past.
a). My parents have been quite particular about ways to jot down any form of information, even solving mathematical problems, in ways that makes it easier for people to read it, like they do in most quality textbooks. It's of almost no use to write something in 2 mins(presentation matters), if it takes a casual reader 10 mins to go through it. Occasional mistakes/rushed communication is fine but it shouldn't become a habit. It's easier said than done!

b). I used to spend a fair bit of time, to knit a story, on figuring out philosophical ways, to express my response to question(s) in all languages in the curriculum, English, Hindi and Sanskrit.

c). While point b). helped polish, ways to express a story, it is absolutely important to understand the importance of brevity. Beating around the bush has not helped anyone. I and many of my classmates learnt this the hard way because we had a wonderful critic. Let me get back to this a few minutes later.

I have had the opportunity to experience 4/5 different schools. My writing skills were appreciated by all teachers/professors I have ever had, but one(in high school). Our school principal used to take our English classes and would spend more time on these small but useful tips and phonetics(he loved emphasizing the importance of these things).

It was the first time, he ever prepared a test paper for us. He gave each one of us, one sheet, full of questions,  and no answer sheet. There was a blank line below, each question to jot down the answer. We were so happy, that he had relieved us from the pain of writing, long, time consuming stories. We were too happy to spot the catch, only to be disclosed, when the results were out. Nobody scored more than 47 out of 100. I got 43. We had consumed every and nook  corner of that piece of paper, to write the answers down.

The catch was to accommodate the answer in that one line, no matter what we had to say, irrespective of our handwriting. Anything longer than that bagged negative marks, even a little spill over. That helped me learn another, very important aspect of writing. He challenged us to be creative. He had a unique, ingenious way of testing our language skills and a lot of criticism to improve, used to be outrageously critical. But it never discouraged me(and I guess others too), only made me more curious and thoughtful. If I look back now, that was undoubtedly, a good problem to have. From the next test onwards, my score used to float in between 81 - 85, and all others, around 40-55(if I remember it right). Eventually, a few others touched  ~70s to 80.

And he would still never praise anyone and would hover over his point, if you guys are lucky, you will get this, +10 and if you are not, you will score this, -10 in your board exams. And so did, most people. The one and the only compliment I ever received, was that he placed all my answer sheets in the library exhibit, to make it available to anyone who would want to read and get inspired ;-)  

Happiness Is Like a Crystal..!!

   HAPPINESS is like a crystal,

         Fair and exquisite and clear,

         Broken in a million pieces,

         Shattered, scattered far and near.

         Now and then along life’s pathway,

         Lo! some shining fragments fall;

         But there are so many pieces

         No one ever finds them all.

.....

-Priscilla Leonard

I have loved this poem ever since I read it for the first time, not sure, maybe since 6th or 8th grade. Well, that doesn't really matter..!!

It inspired me to take up the job of, cheering people up, in random and unplanned ways, and believe it or not, it's refreshingly fulfilling. I don't do it all the time but some times, here or there.

A recent incident motivated me to write this post. I was walking past(rushing to be truthful) a place, post lunch. I am usually very observant of my surroundings, irrespective of  time, place, people, state of mind, schedule, etc. I heard a melodious whistle, looked around to spot the very source of it. While I was almost running around to avoid being late for an appointment (one thing I absolutely don't like is, being late), I was curious and busy processing information about euphonious whistle. A saw another person greeting this person, calling out his/her name. I am not very good at remembering people's name. So, I usually repeat that a few times in my mind, along with one/two unique attributes about the person, until I can memorize it so well, that it can almost always occur naturally. It was an easily identifiable unique talent in this case, so was not that tough.

I noticed this person a couple of times, post that day. One can usually figure things out about a person's state of mind from his/her face, especially when they are low, sad, bored, angry etc. I was in rush again but managed to utter a few words "Hey <his/her name>, How are you? Why aren't you whistling today?", smiled and walked past him/her. I could hear similar, lyrical tune, moments later. Repeated this a few times and the next time it happened, the person stopped me, and asked for my name.

From there on, one thing that changed was; I always found him/her polishing on his/her unique talent. Even, if (s)he was busy doing something else or may be a little dull, would immediately start doing that as soon we exchanged glances. Good music lits your own and other people's face up, literally..!!

It's difficult to put this on paper but try cheering somebody up next time, and you would certainly understand what I mean..

Anyway..

Unique Take On Life..!!

What does it mean when a lot of people you run into, now and then, here or there, say directly or indirectly, with verbal, sometimes mixed with non-verbal cues "You have a unique take on life ( or you're unique/antique, whatsoever! )". I guess we all do, we are individuals, who grew up, and live with our own unique life experiences. No two people have the exact same trajectory at any point in life. They may look or sound similar, but they can't be the same.

So, ideally, and logically speaking, we are supposed to have different outlooks, what is, or could be unique, in a world where everyone is unique and distinctive? Something to ponder on, maybe food for thought!

So next time you tell me or someone else, that you're unique, just take a step back, and say this to yourself on my behalf:

“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” ― Margaret Mead

( Pending ) Random Act of Kindness..!!

One of those days when you run into a, complete stranger, one of those nice people, one never has perfect words for, to mirror them on paper.

Well, I met this old lady this morning, in a sale. I was confused about something, so I asked this person(her), next in queue, a question and she offered to pay my bill. That was really strange, well to be frank, astonishingly weird and kind. Have not seen anyone, a total stranger, offering that to me in India. I don't expect it either. In fact, I would not like someone paying for me more than often.

I was baffled. I said, "Why would you do that for me? I do well. Please do it for someone who can't afford something they really need'. She insisted. I repeated my premise, garnished with slightly different words this time. I handed over the goods to the lady at the billing counter. While she was doing her job, she greeted the lady next to me in line. We were still talking about her offer. She added "I knew you would not let me do this, that's why I offered this to you. You gotta learn to be a little mean". I just requested her to help someone who really needs it.

While I was leaving the counter, she promptly kept something in my palm and closed it tight. I was checking on my stuff and realized that it was money at the exit door. I kept standing there, waiting for her. I tried to give it back to her, tried as hard as I could. Taking money from a total stranger for no reason, seemed too odd to me.

She mentioned of doing something similar to a couple of other people. I said "I will really appreciate if you would do something nice for someone who really needs it" She said "Why don't you do it for someone on my behalf. Please don't ask me of my name." She gave me a hug and went away.

I feel a burden, too heavy and I guess it's gonna be with me until I do something nice for someone who really needs it :-(

Life's Not A Popularity Contest!

You Will Never Be More Famous, Than When You Are Dead. - Durand Guzman

As funny as it may sound, I could not agree more to this. All the universally popular people(I doubt if there is anybody on that list, so one may want to read it as almost universally popular), whom, most of the world could sing eulogic songs of praise for, would not be alive. 

Long story short, nobody can make all the people happy at all the time. One is ought to make choices and say things that one or many won't like but that should not stop you being your own self. Don't live a life to please everyone else, because that's too unrealistic a goal in itself.

I was in 2nd/3rd grade(don't exactly remember but a long long time ago) when I learnt this. I think that was the last class for the day in school. Almost all the teachers including school's principal, vice-principal and headmaster , knew me, for various reasons, for being one who would participate in every damn thing, to somebody whose parents would not miss attending any school meet to one who topped 15/20 exams in a row etc.(enough bragging)! 

The main point is: we had a new teacher appointed to take the general knowledge class. This was his first day and he called up my name as soon as he entered the class so that I can help him understand what portion of the textbook was already covered. Well yeah, we did have a subject and a textbook as well called 'General Knowledge'. I, of course did not like his idea much, for various reasons. Every one else was having fun, doing things that they would like to do, shouting out aloud, playing games etc. while all I was doing at that time was looking at others having fun and making him mark the portion of our syllabus that was already covered. Sounds boring right, now imagine yourself doing it! :-)

This teacher asked everyone to keep quiet intermittently. But who would care about what a teacher said in those days. Something strange happened after 5/10 minutes when he asked everyone to get out of the class. I thought it was yet another incident when everyone would be punished. I started making my way out as well, when he said "You, yes you..you can go and grab your seat'. I was quite happy and surprised at the same time. An inner voice did ask me to go and join rest of the team(class) but another voice made me wait for a couple of more minutes. And I must say, I am glad I heard the other voice. It was a dilemma and a really tough choice though.

The teacher got really violent and started beating every single student with every thing that would serve the purpose, from duster, scale, to furniture etc. to do the job. I felt bad for everybody but there was no reason/benefit I could see in joining hands with them and get beaten. He was thrown out of the school later for being a psycho.

All my classmates stopped talking to me because I was not beaten(no logic but that's how people think) and this continued for a few days. Even some of my best friends joined the rally for they were afraid that they will be boycotted(haha, yeah, we did read the history chapter about boycott movement a day or two ago) too. I had my lunch alone for over a week. Some of those would come to me and ask to apologize to everyone else. I wondered "Apologize for what?". No one could ever give me a reason, not even my ownself. This continued for a week or two. Slowly and gradually, people tend to forget things, especially when they need your notebooks and assignments and stuff like that.

As someone told me once, sometimes you need to be selfish and think about your ownself because believe me no-one else will ever do that for you. I, in no way, would ever justify, not standing up and speaking against wrong. But, sometimes, there is nothing much you can do about things. Make your choices and cast in your own vote for it, not always would people, support you in your endeavors.

On most occasions, you would not get enough time to think about your choices but try make the best possible one

Life is not a rehearsal. Each day is new show. No repeat, not rewind, not retake. So give your best shot in all your acts. As the show goes on and on.

I Am Awesome!

“The better you feel about yourself, the less you feel the need to show off.” 

― Robert Hand

Right since I came here, I have been going around for local meetups to get acquainted with local folks, explore and learn more about this place, culture etc. It has been a rewarding experience so far, met some really nice people and had a good time trying a variety of things.

I went to attend one, organized by a local non-profit yesterday. They posted the same event with two different start times, in two different groups. I was right on time as per the second post, maybe 5-10 minutes early. I parked the car and was waiting outside till everyone else shows up, for plenty of people signed up for this event.  Plus, there were no markings on properties around, I could not find the right building anyways.

A few minutes later, someone else showed up. He asked me if I was there for the same event. Thereon, two of us decided to wait for a few more minutes. He introduced himself , his name, what he does etc. So did I. During this time, we strolled around the place, we could even spot the building. But seemed like there was no one in there. He mentioned that he had been driving around the place for quite a while but did not see anybody yet. 

Within a few minutes, we found another person, who lived nearby, came there for the same occasion but was waiting for others. We all decided to park next to the building and wait till 6:00 pm. The person I met first, introduced himself to the new guy and then we talked for, maybe, another 2-3 mins. He seemed to be very proud of himself and his work, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Good to meet people who like their work so much!

In the next one minute, he mentioned that he makes a lot of money out of nowhere(at least, I found it off-topic),. He reiterated it. I guess two more times, which made me think .... OK, Good For You! I simply grazed away to see if there was anyone else who might have come to join us. 

“Showing off is the fool's idea of glory.” - Bruce Lee

And it definitely kills conversations, anyways..!!

Integrity Is Expensive!

Integrity is expensive, it really is. Doing right things in the face of time, no matter what the frame of reference is, is difficult. Full Stop!

It becomes all the more difficult when it involves people you care about. I remember a story from tenth grade English textbook, wherein an executioner was quiet all the time, since the arrival of a new prisoner to all the way till he wound up the work assigned to him, turned on the crematorium and waited till incineration of that prisoner's body. The readers were taken a back(including me) when they found out at the end of the story that the prisoner was no one else but executioner's own son. I highly admired his character and have not yet forgotten the gist of the story.

It was kind of funny and weird, the way, a reputed company organized campus placement for our batch. Since, I already had an offer letter by that time, I just signed up as a volunteer to see my friends going through the process. Beginning of group discussions round, I was given a list, including batches, 10 students each, to be sent in for the next discussion in three different rooms. Well, it was funny and peculiar, the way they were evaluating students in all these 3 rooms. I had the liberty to get inside any of these rooms and may be just listen to all the discussions. I chose not to. For then, I could know the difficulty level, the list of topics etc. Few of my friends and other students I knew, requested(yeah, college mates ask you and never request you until it's..) me to reshuffle groups of students so they could get into room where it could be easier to get through. My job was to stick to the list and oversee that everything went fine.

After half an hour or so, one of the company representatives suggested me to grab a chair next to him/her, I guess maybe, since I was running around to manage things. Next I called in that room, another group of students(this group comprised of some of my friends) and I knew almost everyone personally. The reps were so upset about this group's performance that they asked me out of anger, about my opinion. I ignored the question until this person asked me again, for that wasn't my job anyway. I could as well see the despair in the eyes of the attendees. I couldn't avoid the question, the third time, when it was appended with the another string of words, why don't you recommend somebody and we pick him/her, for we don't think anybody was up to par. I knew some of those in the group were very good programmers and a great teammate to have. But, firstly, to recommend somebody was not my job and to be honest, they were off the topic since the beginning. I didn't even know if my recommendation would be useful anyway. I bounced it back to them saying that they could judge this much better than me. This tells how hollow, rudimentary and useless the campus placement process usually is. People often don't look for the attributes they should really look for. Not to say, everyone in that group was rejected.

End of this round was an hour long lunch break. I was chatting with a couple of friends in canteen, when someone stepped in, to trash all the anger at me, suggesting what I did was wrong. (S)he was from the group described above. Nevertheless, I could understand the very source of frustration and just kept quiet to simply avoid any further argument.

End of this break, the reps gave me all 3 lists marked with green dot next to the names of those who were selected to get them a new list, with just names of people who were selected. Utter non-sense, I could easily manipulate the list if I wanted to and put in names of people who were not selected but I did not do so. Since, I was the only college rep allowed to be in the room allocated to these folks, the campus training and placement officer asked me if I can tell him how many were selected and you know, if there was a room to get more students on the list. I told him the number,  and suggested him to talk to company reps for anything else. Some people were upset with the way I dealt with the situation and the rest partied with me in the evening, in spite of rejection. I think I chose to do the right thing, and believe me it's never that easy. Nor is it easy to spot what's right(sometimes).

Everything happens for good, almost everyone of those in that group is doing much better than they would have had, if they had joined that company.