Criticism Isn't Always Fault-Finding..!!

“The motive behind criticism often determines its validity. Those who care criticize where necessary. Those who envy criticize the moment they think that they have found a weak spot.”  ― Criss Jami, Killosophy

A true critic gives you cues & clues and motivates you find your own ways to improve, to make a step closer to perfection. As much as is important to receive criticism, it's necessary to take a step back, to think through, spot critic's ulterior motives. Not all people sharing constructive criticism are plotting against you and not all your friends (every person in our lives would lie somewhere, in one of those concentric social circles of trust, the closer the circle to the center(you), higher the level of trust) would be fairly critical.

In fact, a true/genuine analyst paves the way for you to grow & succeed, not fail. My personal belief is as quoted below:


“To call you my critic is to call you my friend.”  ― Karen E. Quinones Miller

and I just could not agree to this any more...



This reminds me,  of:

Number 1 :  authentic feedback from a quite few people on my writing skills. A lot of them did ask me on how could they improve on theirs(although I feel and I know, I am not an expert. In fact, I communicate with a lot of people(who are way better than me) over mails, not texts/SMS(I have never liked SMS/text lingo), just to polish and learn better ways to communicate and,

Number 2: Lots of incidents from the past.
a). My parents have been quite particular about ways to jot down any form of information, even solving mathematical problems, in ways that makes it easier for people to read it, like they do in most quality textbooks. It's of almost no use to write something in 2 mins(presentation matters), if it takes a casual reader 10 mins to go through it. Occasional mistakes/rushed communication is fine but it shouldn't become a habit. It's easier said than done!

b). I used to spend a fair bit of time, to knit a story, on figuring out philosophical ways, to express my response to question(s) in all languages in the curriculum, English, Hindi and Sanskrit.

c). While point b). helped polish, ways to express a story, it is absolutely important to understand the importance of brevity. Beating around the bush has not helped anyone. I and many of my classmates learnt this the hard way because we had a wonderful critic. Let me get back to this a few minutes later.

I have had the opportunity to experience 4/5 different schools. My writing skills were appreciated by all teachers/professors I have ever had, but one(in high school). Our school principal used to take our English classes and would spend more time on these small but useful tips and phonetics(he loved emphasizing the importance of these things).

It was the first time, he ever prepared a test paper for us. He gave each one of us, one sheet, full of questions,  and no answer sheet. There was a blank line below, each question to jot down the answer. We were so happy, that he had relieved us from the pain of writing, long, time consuming stories. We were too happy to spot the catch, only to be disclosed, when the results were out. Nobody scored more than 47 out of 100. I got 43. We had consumed every and nook  corner of that piece of paper, to write the answers down.

The catch was to accommodate the answer in that one line, no matter what we had to say, irrespective of our handwriting. Anything longer than that bagged negative marks, even a little spill over. That helped me learn another, very important aspect of writing. He challenged us to be creative. He had a unique, ingenious way of testing our language skills and a lot of criticism to improve, used to be outrageously critical. But it never discouraged me(and I guess others too), only made me more curious and thoughtful. If I look back now, that was undoubtedly, a good problem to have. From the next test onwards, my score used to float in between 81 - 85, and all others, around 40-55(if I remember it right). Eventually, a few others touched  ~70s to 80.

And he would still never praise anyone and would hover over his point, if you guys are lucky, you will get this, +10 and if you are not, you will score this, -10 in your board exams. And so did, most people. The one and the only compliment I ever received, was that he placed all my answer sheets in the library exhibit, to make it available to anyone who would want to read and get inspired ;-)  

Happiness Is Like a Crystal..!!

   HAPPINESS is like a crystal,

         Fair and exquisite and clear,

         Broken in a million pieces,

         Shattered, scattered far and near.

         Now and then along life’s pathway,

         Lo! some shining fragments fall;

         But there are so many pieces

         No one ever finds them all.

.....

-Priscilla Leonard

I have loved this poem ever since I read it for the first time, not sure, maybe since 6th or 8th grade. Well, that doesn't really matter..!!

It inspired me to take up the job of, cheering people up, in random and unplanned ways, and believe it or not, it's refreshingly fulfilling. I don't do it all the time but some times, here or there.

A recent incident motivated me to write this post. I was walking past(rushing to be truthful) a place, post lunch. I am usually very observant of my surroundings, irrespective of  time, place, people, state of mind, schedule, etc. I heard a melodious whistle, looked around to spot the very source of it. While I was almost running around to avoid being late for an appointment (one thing I absolutely don't like is, being late), I was curious and busy processing information about euphonious whistle. A saw another person greeting this person, calling out his/her name. I am not very good at remembering people's name. So, I usually repeat that a few times in my mind, along with one/two unique attributes about the person, until I can memorize it so well, that it can almost always occur naturally. It was an easily identifiable unique talent in this case, so was not that tough.

I noticed this person a couple of times, post that day. One can usually figure things out about a person's state of mind from his/her face, especially when they are low, sad, bored, angry etc. I was in rush again but managed to utter a few words "Hey <his/her name>, How are you? Why aren't you whistling today?", smiled and walked past him/her. I could hear similar, lyrical tune, moments later. Repeated this a few times and the next time it happened, the person stopped me, and asked for my name.

From there on, one thing that changed was; I always found him/her polishing on his/her unique talent. Even, if (s)he was busy doing something else or may be a little dull, would immediately start doing that as soon we exchanged glances. Good music lits your own and other people's face up, literally..!!

It's difficult to put this on paper but try cheering somebody up next time, and you would certainly understand what I mean..

Anyway..