2013: Year in Review

I have this habit of revisiting all the major events that occur(if any), every single day, before I sleep at night. I analyze them so that I can learn from them. It helps me know what did I do well, what I shouldn't have done or if I could improve on something I did, by doing it differently. It not only helps me learn from the past but also lets me understand what kind of person I am, my strengths that will keep me going even when the going gets tough & my weaknesses that may make me stumble, yet another day. Just being aware is like winning half the battle.  So, I have personally found it very helpful.

Likewise, while this wave sweeps away the calendar year, 2013, I got a chance to turn the page over this wonderful wonderful year as it passes by, when I tried new things, met amazingly kind people, from different walks of life and like, from every nook & corner. It was a terrific year, over the course of which, I could discover and pursue the milestones I have set for myself with laser sharp focus. It gives me a sense of tremendous satisfaction. 

I am glad that I just did not prodigally spend one more year of my life. I tried to do something worthwhile almost every single day. And when you really want to do something, you find a lot of nice people along the way who would help you and guide you and motivate you to try even harder and make the best out of all your efforts and I am no exception.   

Of course, as with everyone else, it was not 100% green for me too, there were some coarse and rough edges somewhere down the road but who cares, it can't stop me, no matter what. I will continue to be curious, to work harder & smarter, learn faster & better and to explore. I am sure I will find light at the end of the tunnel :-)

With these words in mind, I will hit the mark of 2014 on a splendid positive note and so will you, I hope!

Recipe of Fruitful Conversations!

I am fortunate enough to have a very good sounding and counseling board. And one of the best advice I recently received is that "When you talk about things you both agree upon, you are likely to have more fruitful conversations with people ( if you do care about the relationship you share) you come across in your day to day life."

This does not mean that one should not share his/her point of view, or come up with a justification (justification helps to give somebody enough reasons to let them understand your side of the story or why you hold a certain belief). Justification is completely ok if, number 1, you are putting it across in a non persuasive tone and number 2, if you are sure that the other person is receptive enough and does not fall in the category indicated very well by Stephen Covey through the following words:

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply."

So, when you feel that either one or both of the two aforementioned conditions are not met at any point of time, then to be at the safe side, try talking about the things falling in the green area, the things you have in common, with the other person in question. I am not asking you to pretend that you don't have topics you don't agree upon but then talking about them is not going to do any good to either of you.

Like for instance, if I take into consideration what happened yesterday, when me and two of my flatmates started discussing a topic, somewhere at the onset of midnight and over the course of time, I started speaking less or almost stopped (not with anger, resentment, disappointment or any other negative feeling but with the sole purpose of being able to observe the other two) and started paying heed to what they were trying to tell, verbally as well as non-verbally and then thought about this venn diagram, I could imagine how much time & energy we all would have saved, or how much more time we all would have got to sleep, considering the fact that we finally went to sleep at 4:30 am in the morning, I could understand that keeping this simple thing in mind could be very helpful at times. Not that I did not like the conversation but just that I am one of those "early to bed and early to rise types", except a few weekends here and there. :-)

Quotation

You can't ever be happy if you don't know what earns you the bliss..!! :D

If at all ..

If at all, from the basket

Need I, to choose a 'Thing'

Wouldn't pluck even one

Rub no stain, I swear

Nor would I change a 'Thing'

Hulkier Storm

Ecstatic Rain

For the Canvas, 

A 360 degree, they string

If at all, from the basket

Need I, to choose a 'Thing'
I snow, 
Deep down ,

I know,

I wouldn't change a 'Thing'

Resonance & the Vibrator's Dilemma

One of the observations I made long, long time ago, encountered many 100 times in the real world and something I have thought of writing about at least more than a dozen times, if not more. 

While, this title may be somewhat intriguing and is derived from “The Principle of Resonance” from physics which goes as mentioned below:

Resonance is the tendency of a system to oscillate with greater amplitude at some frequencies than at others. Frequencies at which the response amplitude is a relative maximum are known as the system's resonant frequencies, or resonance frequencies. At these frequencies, even small periodic driving forces can produce large amplitude oscillations, because the system stores vibrational energy.

It may seem confusing or misleading but is quite similar to the way humans behave in day to day life towards things/ideas/conversations or just anything in general. At any given point of time, with any topic in consideration, there is a normal human tendency to respond back to certain things with 1000%( yes this is not a typo, it’s 10 * 100%, to indicate the ceiling function) enthusiasm and energy while a lot others simply bite the dust. Those are human response frequencies and the major drivers being one of the below:

1   Things we don't understand

Nobody is Omniscience, so there are no doubt things in the world, we don’t know about or we don’t understand. These are things which might be interesting or worth listening to or may be a total junk with absolute zero worth with respect to the time we spend to converse/reason/discuss about. 

But then, since we are not really sure, we may choose to be open and hear about them to sway the existing boundaries of our wisdom, based on our instincts or any other rationale. Given enough time and energy with considerable interest, I believe no topic in the world is difficult enough to understand even all by yourself, and in the worst case there are always people around whom you may reach out to for help whenever required. So this part as per my conviction can be easily dealt with.

This part is also easier to negotiate with anyone trying to explain something to you, to get your buy in or make you understand where they are coming from, their perceptions or the core ideas which form their very foundation.

2     Things we don't want to understand

While point 1 is easy to deal with, it is extremely difficult to compete against the latter, and these are the things we don’t want to understand. The things that in reality we do understand but whimsically pretend to be unaware of due to one of the various reasons like saving the face, to run away from the discomforting truth, to avoid unnecessary discussions and negative arguments, to save time from something(one) that we think would be of no benefit to us in the long run, things we think don’t matter and would never cross our ways in life ever etc. among some of the possible causes.

It’s next to impossible for anybody to make these things seep in our mind or even spark a conversation around them that would last even a minute or then would remain a healthy discussion after crossing the chasm. On such encounters, we either nod our head just to agree with what the other person has to say or totally avoid listening to those garbled sound waves, further distorted due to the lack of interest.

One liner from one of my earlier poems Anger which also fits pretty well in this context.

Surprisingly we behave, amazing tactics we deploy

Help ..to Paralysis?

Wherever you are and Whatever you're doing, there are always things you could help other people with. And then there are broadly two ways of doing that. 

1. Sit and do it along with them, rather for them. 

You try your best to help build a bridge for them to get out of the mess, and in the process you end up doing it for them, may be somewhere between 50 to 100 percent. This pleases people for you made somebody's life easy. 

Personally, I do not like this way of being helped or helping somebody. If someone keeps solving the problem for me without letting me do it, I will be the paralyzed one in the long run. I would rather like trying it 100 times myself, failing for all those attempts to achieve the goal 101st time, than being successful the first time without using my brains. I believe I would learn much more this way, not only the single precise way to do it but also the other 100 ways I tried, and now I know that it would not work that way. And then I would never forget what I learnt over this course of time. 

2. Explain the very meaning of it, in and out, throw away clues and let them figure it out. 

I love working with people who extend help this way. You know, those epitomes filled with absolute sense of challenge along the way, is what doubles my energy to keep marching forward. And I tend to follow the same path when somebody approaches me for help. I would always like people try it themselves, getting the whole share of their success, by earning it for themselves. I would never want somebody to be my walking stick nor would I want somebody else to be that dependent on me. It's great to be self-reliant. Nothing can be better than that.

What's your way of dealing with situations when you seek out or extend help ?

Fear of Missing Out..!!

This very morning I came across this article which talks about the types of motivation . The good, the bad and the best motivators in the world. And I strongly believe that nothing can keep you running in the absence of that inner fuel of purpose, desire, thirst and excitement.

You know, I have thought about it a number of times. And there are a lot many people who asked me about my fears. I have been fearless for the most of my life, I don't fear almost anything in life but whenever I think about this word, the single biggest fear I always find myself struggling with is the "Fear of Missing Out" -- missing out even a single glittering chance of jumping of the cliff; the cliff of uncertainty, challenge, nuance, bizarre and what not.. There are so many different things to do in this world and a tonnes of experiments to be done and the fear of not being able to participate/witness even any one of them is daunting.

Somebody has said:
There is no telling how many miles you will have to run while chasing a dream..!!

But I have no fear of the number of miles, what I fear is to fail to experience participating in one of the races in life. People recommend of not settling down in the comfort zone and to break those shackles once they get tied up. But, I am among those bunch of people who fear that they will get stuck in the comfort zone if they don't keep moving, rather running, I don't care if this constant running would make me pant. I fear that thought of comfort, that nightmare of monotony, that wind of purposelessness, the night of sinking challenge ship and everything else in those lines..

You didn't Go for a Walk Today?

I went out to buy some stuff a few minutes ago. While coming back, I was thinking about something, gazing around the vicinity as I was passing by. Suddenly, I heard this, when I was still submerged in my thoughts "You didn't Go for a Walk Today?". Seemed as if the sentence was directed to me. Suddenly, I came out of my thoughts to that moment, to spot that person out, who just said that.

I turned around to find out a cute little girl. She repeated her statement "You didn't Go for a Walk Today?". I looked at her to reconfirm if it was directed to me. Yes, it was.

I liked her sweet gesture but was a little surprised, but simply replied "I did". Then she added "I see you going for a walk across this road everyday. I did not see you this morning. You did not go for a walk today? ". Then we shared a small talk for about a few minutes, before she bid goodbye and took off riding her bicycle back, straight to her home :-)

Place Value vs Face Value

I have been thinking about writing this one for a while now and surely could not come up with a better or more apt title for this post.

Place Value vs Face Value, the meaning is pretty much the same whether it's barely numbers or people..

While most people like to be only around people with a higher place value, I respect people who weigh higher on side of face value, reason being pretty simple, their value is independent of place, situation, time or context, come whatever it may be.

I get an impression (not enough data points to generalize) that a change of position, sometimes
--> make people douchebag
--> people tend to not see obvious things
--> they get wings (borrowed from one of the conversations with my school principal), are no longer grounded
--> forget/override the basic rules/courtesy

Random Rambling / Short Poetry

Chalak jaaye ye jaam to

aawaz nahi karta

Ittefak ya inayat hai

waqt imtiaz nahi karta

A Real Let Down..!!

I have been thinking about, for topics that I should cover or write about here on my blog.. Last couple of weeks have been really crazy for a lot of reasons.. for which this post is not about :-)

Some instances you come across can be a real let down for any literate, respected and matured person in this world. There is this very nice quotation, shared by one of my cousins as his status message for quite some time and I really liked it:

 "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"

This one is about a queue at the office for one of the meals. While chaos is a norm at food queues/counters in India, this one incident was and it still is, really unacceptable at least for me. A guy behind me in the queue could be hailed an idiot for sure. He was rude and ill-mannered to the utmost degree possible. While I was waiting for people (ahead of me) to move, this guy was highly impatient and tried to push in, hit me with his elbow(kind of pretty hard) in his attempt. This was really disgusting and I looked at him (he did not seem to have any regrets for what he did) and asked if he can excuse me (in a slightly blunt tone). I had not seen anybody with this kind of an attitude in office until this. Instead of feeling sorry for what he did, he asked back in a rather rude tone "What is your problem? ...What did you say?" 

I replied "Your elbow hit me, so I asked if you can excuse me.". He was pretty prompt with his next reply and said "Can you move faster?" I said "See, there is no space ahead of me". Next reply from him was " There is no place even behind me, what do you want?" 

I was really amazed, he had enormous amount of space for himself(where he was standing). I said "So in that case, you should wait right?" He mumbled something in a rather rude tone and tried to move forward in between no space. Later, when I was about to leave the queue, he hit me again with his elbow and again he did not feel the need to apologize. 

I was really angry and by the time I realized that I should have done something and at least asked  for his employee identity number for making a complaint to HR, he disappeared. I tried to spot him later but could not. I still remember his face and I would probably find him some day and definitely write about this to the HR.

Story of the Lost Mobile Charger

Yes, it’s nothing less than a story, in fact a quick 3 day saga I would say. I am usually very organized about the way I keep my stuff and where I keep it, so that I get it in time at the need of hour. Life has been too busy since last few weeks with small health hick-ups here and there. Anyways, that’s not really a part of the story, I am just trying to get you a brief background and a short narrative of the pace in general.

I usually don’t lose stuff, lose as in, something which belongs to me and I forget it here & there so that I cannot recollect where have I kept that or what did I do with that or whatever. Three days back, I was at home and I was digging in my laptop bag, I did that more than 2-3 times, checked everywhere in the room. But I had no clue of what did I do with my mobile charger. I have been searching it for last 3 days like anything, searched for number of times again in my laptop bag (for that’s the place where I always keep the charger anyways) like 3-4 times a day, just with the hope that may be I missed some corner of it even though when I have a fixed compartment for it in there L and I searched for it at every possible other place.

I was so not willing to accept that I lost it, but I actually had prepared myself to buy a new charger by ordering online with a thought in some corner of my mind ‘May be I kept it..ah..there…XYZ place, I should go and check once more.’

And guess what! While trying to search for it in office today, at my desk and in the drawer, I thought I should look for other places around my desk. ‘bingo! There it is’ was all I could murmur, just a minutes ago, I finally did spot it under my table, entangled with other cables. I am really curious to know, how did I manage to make it reach there? Don’t know, I guess maybe I left it in office at my desk 4 days ago and somehow it made its way down there.

Never mind, I am happy that I got it back J

Random..!!

Naasamjhi hi to hai 

Jo soch baithe ke utaar paayenge 

Waqt ka har karz hum; waqt par

Bhala guzre hue waqt se bhi

Mukhatib ho paya hai

Jahan mei musaafir fir koi

Maana iraado ke kshitiz pe

Milte hain zameen aur aasman bhi 

Par mazaar-e-waqt ki

Dhumil chaadar hai anchuyi

MOOC : Opportunity Anaylsis (Philosophical)

There is no limit to what and in how much quantity one may learn. It’s that spark of curiosity to know more within you, which lights up a lamp, a lamp which can withstand anything, anything really means just anything, let come amidst whatever it may be, does need only a strong determination, enthusiasm and passion to keep marching forward. I don’t know how do you get that and at what point of time you get that thirst, that desire; to explore more, know more, learn more, experiment more, to win more and nevertheless, to fail more.

During the past few months, I have been doing a lot of things, trying to put a lot of things in place, to make much more effective use of the limited time I have and to never stop learning. I keep trying to discover varied, thrilling, different, exciting and challenging opportunities. Challenge is the fuel that keeps me going. The day I have no challenge, I feel lost and I feel low and I feel this life is meaningless. Juggling through different things, riding across the oceans of difficulties, navigating through the maze of failures with a single tunnel which leads us to the sparkling, tinkling light of success, oh that sounds so so so very interesting.

This expedition of mine compelled me to discover the massive open online courses, the courses at Venture lab and Coursera platform. These courses have a beauty of their own.  They give you a chance to connect and collaborate with people in a very different part of the world, they bring along a very different perspective and a different style of working. This is where you realize(yet again) there is so much talent out there, talent is just oozing out of all the corners of the world (though the world is not flat :-) ). I am amazed and thrilled at the same time and look forward to working, learning and collaborating with so many great and wonderful people, for whom I fell short of words to describe.

Respect, to earn Respect ..!!

As usual I was out for a walk in the evening. I stopped by a Frankie booth and placed an order. While I was waiting for it, I saw a guy loaded with furious temperament, heading towards the booth from the other side with a Frankie in his hand. He started shouting at the guy on the counter. “What kind of Frankie is this? It’s not good at all. Don’t you know how is it made? …..and so on”

Very soon, he started explaining the recipe to him in short, hovering over a handful of sentences a few times. All of this, in a pitch too high!

Guy at the booth said, “We have so many options in menu to select from and you placed an order for the wrong one. I guess you were looking for …that one”

The amount of rage the guy (customer) had, rose exponentially and he finally threw the frankie in the dustbin, kept rambling the same sentences and finally he went away in anger.

As soon as he left, the counter guy asked me if I liked the Frankie I ordered. “It’s fine” I said.  And then he started complaining about the guy who had just left. I listened to him for a while and did not say anything. And then he asked again if it(Frankie) was good. I said "It’s good."

I guess, people experiment with food, different people like different kind of stuff, everyone has his/her own style of cooking and their own dining preferences..

But in any case, there is a way to communicate bad news.. ”In a Constructive way”!

Short Poetry..

Waqt ki nazron mei shumaar hai

Zarra zarra bekarar hai

Darmiyaan baadal gamgin sahi

Falak ko bhi kum kahan intezaar hai

Surkhiyon mei dhalta

Cipiyon mei simtaa

Motiyon ka samandar beshumaar hai

Iraadon ishaaron khayalon ke kaazi 

Faislon ke daayron mei uljhi 

Samajh hi to hai teri

Fir tera hi kyu nahi ikhtiyaar hai?

My Quotation..!!

I wish I could CRAWL for everyone else wants to FLY !! :)

This one holds a lot many meanings, depends on how you see/read it 

Shimmer - Beautiful Piano Music Instrumental

I am a music lover. While I like music of all kinds, I have a real fascination for instrumentals..

And this is one of my favorites, especially I really loved it this weekend!

Hope you will like it too..!!

Recent Vacation - Part 2

In the first part, I put in a few adjectives about Sikkim.

Now is the time to write a brief account of the journey.

Though we planned to explore North Sikkim, we could not because of the bad weather conditions and reported landslides. We then had to plan for an alternate route. We ended up exploring parts of East, South & West Sikkim.

Gangtok -> Namchi ->Ravangla ->Pelling

While the whole journey was simply awesome, the part I liked the most, was the journey from Ravangla to Pelling with a number of waterfalls on the way, Kanchenjunga Falls be the best one. I still remember  the refreshing  drops of water being splashed at, even at a considerable distance from the falls.

Motion sickness affects me for almost all lengths of travel by road. While I thought that the height and jerks would make it worse, to my surprise, motion sickness did not create any problem at all.  In fact, I loved the scenic beauty I could get hold of from that height. Drizzle, rain, dense fog, chilly wind carrying a rich natural aroma and what not, all the flavors of an awesome weather was scattered on the way. Ah, I simply loved it :)

Assignment 3: Create your own Chindogu

This time it's Chindogu..

Chindogu, involves combining products that are completely unrelated to create inventions that are wonderfully unusual. 

As described by http://www.chindogu.com

Chindogu are man-made objects that have broken free from the chains of usefulness. They represent freedom of thought and action: the freedom to challenge the suffocating historical dominance of conservative utility; the freedom to be (almost) useless.

I started doing my assignment and have jot down one Chindogu so far: Winpers and Gipers. This Chindogu is a combination of:
1. Window panes + Wipers (Winpers)
2. Glass panes + Wipers (Gipers)

They could either be hand/motor operated but may help especially in case of skyscrapers or other heightened/tall buildings. I and many other course-mates wondered why something like this does not already exist. It could help save a lot of dangerous laborious work done by the cleaning staff in offices, malls etc.

 I will post them as soon as I could think of more.

Your feedback is wholeheartedly welcome as always..!! :-)

Recent Vacation - Part 1

Vacation are always good as we all know. They give us time to step back, relax, revitalize, think, rethink about the road we are on and the direction we are heading to. Most importantly, they buy us some peace of mind :-)

We explored Sikkim: serene, untouched and simply beautiful 

While I will share more about the journey in the next post, here are some pictures which could obviously not substitute the worth of that place in its true sense

1. Mt. Kanchejunga

2. Cheerful Worker at Temi Tea Garden, Ravangla

3. Temi Tea Garden, Ravangla

4. Asia's Second Highest Bridge at Dentam

5. Almost closed M.G. Road Market @ 8:30 PM, Gangtok

Assignment 2: Mind Map for a Silent 30 Minutes Walk at Terrace

Click on the image to enlarge

I am an obsever in general. So, I find such an activity of observing things, places, people around, including surrounding, environment and vicinity, a part of my day to day, rather minute to minute activity. I had never tried mind mapping in the past. Whilst I do agree that humans prefer non-linear scanning of a page full of information, but Frankly speaking I am rather a fan of reading and organizing information in a bullet or list like format which is easy to read and digest for me. The freedom to stick images and pictures make the information easy to recollect with a glance or an ultra quick scan, which can be done anyways whether it's a list or a non linear map.

Undoubtedly, it's always refreshing to take a break from the normale and go for a silent peaceful walk, to let new ideas germinate but I am almost a regular practitioner of this, so did not see much difference :-)

Your ideas & suggestions are welcome as always..!! :-)

First Assignment: Cover Page of Autobiography

I enrolled for a ‘Crash Course on Creativity’ some time back, which started on 22^nd April, 2013. First assignment is to design the cover pager for an autobiography. It’s fun just to think about it. I always wanted to write one but when it really came down to start writing one, was not that easy.

Here is how it goes, one of the cover page designs, I may go for in future

********************************************************************************************************

And I kept moving, and viewing, and sensing, and exhilarating, and doing everything for which exists, a verb to describe...living each and every moment to its true potential. Some in this life, a lot others in virtual reality!

Not a life of things but the flight of wings..!!

********************************************************************************************************

Your feedback and suggestions are wholeheartedly welcome..!! :-)

My Poem -- Title ??

 With emotions of love I feel so thrown

Like the dusk following every dawn

It's a well knitted maze of emotions

At times you are dragged by absolute passions

If not looked up to it with the feelings draining

It helps ease each wound's healing

Various shades of love around

Make a U turn from those routines that surround

Mother in this world, an ocean of affection

Father checks the proneness to depression

Friend's hug when one is low

Quickens the very moments that were otherwise slow

At times we look out to befriend a stranger

That splashing humane compassion for each other

It's something better left unsaid

It's neither a business nor a trade

Moments filled with love's glory

Ends up with an eternal story

Disclaimer: I know, I know, sounds too filmy. Saw some depressed folks around, again long back in college. Just Chill, Stay Happy & Enjoy ..Cheers..!!

I could not think of a good title over years of time, you may suggest something..!!

Ugly Duckling

Don't look at me with eyes full of wonder

Agree I, map of mine is an acute blunder

Know I, am not tall, my walk full of rise n fall

Cheeks with missing dimples, covered under the blanket of pimples

At the messy hair, please don't stare

May be am the most defective piece

Thoughts of that sort leave my mind full of stress

People usually laugh at me

I find myself lost deep in me

My heart cries 

When my eyes with others' strike

Believe me it's so full of pain

Tears have left on ma soul so many stains

To me, don't know, why God did this !

Probably cheer is what people in the world miss

Something gives to me contents' pile

I have been sent to let others smile

Disclaimer: No, I am not depressed about my looks and yes, this poem is not about me. I wrote this long back in college when I saw somebody too worried about his/her looks, tried to put myself in his/her shoes !

Stop Asking for Money!

Just like so many popular scams in India, running an orphanage, an old age home or a home for disabled also seems to be a means of quick & easy money to lots of people over here I guess. Sorry if I sound judgmental or if you feel that I am generalizing it.

Then let me put it straight. I by no means, am trying to say that everyone out there doing something around it wants to fulfill some of their selfish motives. There are some really nice people too in the world who are doing an incredibly awesome job for the needy.

This is again based on some of my encounters in the past. I was about to step in a shopping mall when a lady (quite well to do she seemed) came to me and said “I am from XYZ institution. We run an orphanage, where we provide quality education, free meals and take care of the deprived and disabled kids well. Madam, would you please donate some money so that we can provide better services to them.”

I was like, ok; let me think for a while. Then I said, after a pause of a minute or two. Where exactly is that orphanage located?  She says, it’s in HSR, near so and so place. I inquired further, ok, kids of what age-group do you take care of there? By the time I asked this question, I could see her being uncomfortable and a sense of irritation on her face. But then she replied keeping her calm: “No madam, it’s not specific to some age-groups.”

My next question was: “Do you send them to schools for education or ..? How do you manage?” She was like ‘No madam, it’s more of an in-house schooling’.

I said: that sounds great. You know what, I stay in HSR and I would be happy to teach some of those kids. If you think I am not qualified enough to teach high school students. I could start with preliminary or junior level classes and I can easily spare a few hours every weekend for/on them. I would love to do that. Could you please tell me the exact address and I will visit the orphanage next weekend and we may discuss about this donation part then? She said “No madam, you need not come there. You may just donate some money and we will take of all that. We don’t want to bother you.”

I said “No, no, no, you’re getting me wrong. I will enjoy teaching them. No botheration at all. So, just tell me the address.”  She was like “No madam, it’s ok, you need not come, you may just donate some money”

Then I just told her, in that case I would not donate any money to the orphanage.

Last year I wanted to donate some money to an orphanage. So, I sent an e-mail to 1 or 2 institutes.  But I found none of them convincing enough to donate money. Similar incident happens every weekend, when a lady calls from a famous trust here in Bangalore and she reads out a list of packages I may donate for: Morning breakfast, lunch or dinner and blah blah..

What is this some kind of holiday or beauty package? Did you have similar experiences? Would love to hear about them..

Social Manners Lessons

I have been thinking of writing this post for a while. I did not write it so far for a few reasons:

1. I wanted to be sure that it’s not just a co-incidence or a behavior encountered by me repeatedly; demonstrated by a relatively small bunch of people. 

2. I did not want to write it in a way that offends certain people.

3. I do not want to be judgmental.

4. To give myself some time to know if there are other people around who feel the same way—and the answer is: Yes, of course, they do!

I like many others around have observed certain traits by lot many folks around; especially at public places, residential societies, office premises and where not, that kind of bothers me. And believe me; it’s not just me. I know a lot of people who show a lot of agitation & opposition towards such behavior of people around them.

Now let me jot down a few of those experiences here:

Just another day; me and a friend of mine; inside an elevator waiting to reach the ground floor; and then we were finally there; the automatic door slid. Before we could step out of the lift, we noticed a bunch of people, around 4 or 5, right at elevator’s exit, so impatient they were; that they just rushed in without letting us get out of it. Maybe they were running out of time and wanted to reach somewhere quickly. But wait a minute … would it have been possible for the elevator to take them to their destination without we getting out of it…food for thought for such people

Similar thing happens while trying to get down from a bus, train and so on.

Another encounter at fast food counter at workplace. We wanted to order something to eat. But there were so many people at the counter that it was certainly not possible for us to even reach there. I could see three groups of people waiting at the counter for the take away.  The one out of the first group finally got the burger and the juice he ordered, but he was still there chitchatting with other five people in the group. Then the other person in the group got a juice after a halt of around 10 minutes, till then these people spent their time at the counter, certainly making it impossible for someone else to penetrate the mob to reach the counter and order something. As soon as this second person grabbed the juice, the bunch of 6 people simply walked away. Did they really need company of four other people to spend 10 minutes at the counter?

Another group had around 3 people, a gal and two guys. It seemed that the gal had ordered something, guys were just there to give her company. Then she got the milkshake and was waiting for something else and busy talking with other people in the group. Finally, she grabbed the sandwich she ordered but she was so very lost in the conversation, it took her 2-3 odd minutes to go away and while she was on the way; she spilled over the milkshake on me.  Above all she did not realize that she needs to apologize for that and was smiling rather laughing for the great job she did.

Another plot: This is an everyday scene at/near all tissue roll holders near a washbasin. Even when people know that there are other people out there waiting for their turn, some people just forget that they are at a public place and there are other people in the queue. They would grab a tissue paper and would stand there till the time they have finished gossiping with someone else near an adjacent holder or would simply cherish using that great piece of paper. Believe me, this behavior certainly irritates a lot of people around you.

These are just few examples and there is a long list to go on. The only reason I finally wrote this is it highlights the need to have those basic social etiquettes which are not taught along with table manners in school but it’s a must to showcase them. Do not annoy people with your carelessness, it’s not that difficult to be a little more responsible about what you do and how you behave..!!

Poetry

Khamoshiyon pe aitbaar karte hain,

Thami ye dhadkan 

Par intezaar karte hain,

Jhuki sargam se

Lamhe bayaan karte hain,

Chalte Chalte;

Manzilon ke paar

Khwaahishon ki bauchaar karte hain,

Bahar-e-gulistaan

Numaaish mein saja

Chipi un surkhiyon ka 

Deedar karte hain,

Tasavvur-e-thikaane mei kahin

Thirkanon ka izhaar karte hain  

English Poetry : Just Another Day

Just another day

Gesture full of wonder 

World still at its pace

Has just life surrendered!

Spirits whirling, abound

Dust plated; sprinkled ash around

Submerged in thoughts

Seems a queue of graveyard surrounds

I walk, I adhere

Tickle; may hurdles like spear

Blindfolded gallop though hard

Scrutiny may never steer

I frown, I drown

Ecstasy may disappear

Gulping herculean oceans in

Cloudy sky; twinkles clear

An Opportunist's Plight

Yesterday night, after having an awesome dinner, I was walking down the street back home. I was half decided on having a desert, so just walked out of the restaurant without ordering one. 

While I was still halfway to reach back home, I got this sudden urge to have an ice-cream, an irresistible temptation like kids do get on a frequent basis. While it seemed too big an effort to walk back to one of those fancy restaurant's in another direction, I decided to try my luck with the super-market on the way nearby my place. Trying my luck, not in terms of whether I will get an ice-cream over there or not. Instead the thought of standing in a long queue just to buy a pack of ice-cream was discouraging. 

So, I promised myself to buy it only on one condition: if I was lucky enough of not meeting a long queue at the billing counter.

With this thought in mind, I soon entered the super-market to see a long long queue at both the counters on ground floor. I was perplexed whether I should be trying my luck with the counters on the first floor. I went to ice-cream aisle, picked one from the freezer. I knew that the queue on the first floor is not gonna be any shorter. Just to give it a try, I rushed up to the first floor to find a queue much much much longer than what it was on the ground floor. I thought of going back to the ground floor and putting it back in the freezer.

When I reached there, I wanted to buy it since I had invested so much of my time on this one ice-cream already. I stood for half a minute on deciding whether I should quit and walk back home or I should give it a try, to somehow buy it in lesser than anticipated time ;)

While I was still pondering over this, I saw the lady at the billing counter. I walked up to her and asked if she could get it billed along with her stuff and I will pay the money to her. She looked at me with surprise for a moment but then I asked her again and eventually, she agreed. All the other people right after her in the queue appeared to be in disapproval of my behavior. Each of these people had tonnes of food items in their basket.

I know that this way of breaking in the queue is not an ideal shopper's behaviour but then it was already too late. The clock was about to hit 10 and I wanted to get that ice-cream.

But this was just not the end. The lady who did this favor of buying that ice-cream to me, had a coconut to be billed at another counter (Alas, I did not notice that earlier). Since the bill was not with me, I could not have walked out of the store anyway. I went back to her. The queue at vegetable counter was too long.  She was an ideal shopper and she waited for like 10 minutes to get that billed, I had no other option but to stand there waiting for her. 

By the time, I could actually come out of that place after thanking her, the ice-cream thawed :(

Poetry

Waqt ke dariya mein humne

Na jaane kitne gote lagaaye hain

Kabhi paar hokar doobey

To kabhi doob kar bhi paar ho paaye hain

Aarzoo kabhi bahaaron ki to thi hi nahin

Par kambakht kaatein bhi humein

Kahan sukoon se mil paayein hain

Baandh paayi hai bhala kab

Sarhadein khud sarhadon ko

Pal pal ki jubaani mei 

Kissse khud hi simat-te chale aaye hain

Sargoshiyon ke aalam mei

Chalki un yaadon mein teri

Ubhare har ik rang ki panaahon mein

Ye pal-o-palchchin bitaayein hain

---to be continued..??..may be...!!

Playing Presentations..!!

Recently, I saw a community post where somebody asked about Powerpoint Presentation or in general Formal Presentation skills. Tips on building content for it, which may keep the target audience engaged, thereby leaving a powerpack impression as an effective communicator rather than being just a gross disengaged orator.

Personally, I was (and I guess I still am) pretty much fascinated about going to the dias and putting my points forth, be it any form of public speaking, both in Schools & College and enjoyed it thoroughly, be it a solo or a team thing, but had a very few experiences of doing so in last few years, after I started working. The medium keeps changing over time, becomes more fancy, sophisticated and high-tech, but the basics remain the same I guess,

1. Keep your audience engaged, making it as much interactive as possible. Don't give them a chance to sleep :)
2. With the advent of social networking, there are more chances of them enjoying the live feed criticism than your presentation, if it fails to grab and hold their attention.
3. Put in interesting content by adding relevant images, audio, video etc. and as less text as possible.
4. Keep it Simple, Concise and Short. Check Out for Rule of 6/7 basics.
5. Please do not read out your slides as it is. If that was the purpose, audience could better sit at home and read it.
6. Don't keep hovering over the same points for too long.
7. Stay confident and be honest to acknowledge if you are not sure.

Just put yourself in their shoes or ask someone else who could give you a constructive plus honest feedback and present your content, this may help in realizing normal human reaction and improving it and yourself for better.

There may be some anxiety for the first few seconds if you are there on stage for the first time or after a long time or if the audience size is too large or too small, highly scattered with nobody on first few rows, but everything will be normal after a while and you will find yourself enjoying it.

If it is a group or team thing, make sure each of you go through the whole content and are capable enough of taking it over, either presentation or questions or both, in case your fellow presenter feels choked. Pitch in to help. Have never seen this happening in corporate presentations or seminars but I have had such experiences in Schools & College. Only your quick wit, presence of mind and being collaborative with your fellow team member without making him/her uncomfortable will pave the way. Believe me it's a difficult situation since you need to make sure that the show must go on but your teammate is not demoralized or discouraged. At the end, you get a lot of appreciation and feel a lot very contented when you succeed in doing so. Personal Experience :)

Don't be flattered by that, go see your companion first after it is over.

These are a few things which I can think of right now. May be you have some more points or may be the ones above do not make sense to you based on your experiences, just drop them here as comments/feedback.