Memory - Ctrl+Alt+Del

Well, some memories do last a lifetime!

in some way..?

As per Dr. Karl Albrecht fear can be classified into 5 categories:

1. Fear of Death

2. Fear of Physical Pain

3. Fear of Losing Control

4. Fear of Separation

5. Fear of Identity Death 
Reference: https://medium.com/@seannisil/identifying-the-5-types-of-fear-7e8729934a6e

I don't remember feeling no. 1,2,4 or 5. A few months ago, something triggered no.3. Around that time, I tried to recollect the last time I felt something similar. I tried really really hard and I could not remember anything.

And then recently did I watch the movie 'The Strangers: Prey at Night' and the moment that creepy girl knocked at the door..boom! The flashback!

Image Credit - Pixabay

5/6 years ago, I don't remember the exact date/month/year but I remember everything else like it happened yesterday. It was Saturday night. I was home(alone) video-conferencing with a few team members(from a different timezone). It was the only house on the block. There was a park across the street, so a very calm and serene place at night. None of my housemates were home and even the neighborhood was quieter than usual or maybe it felt that way. Little did I care, until someone knocked really hard at the door. It was unusual, I was not expecting anyone. 

I opened the door and it was a big, strange, drunk person at the door. I was pretty sure I did not know him at all. Plus, I was preoccupied with the project discussion, still thinking about the problem. I asked him who he was and what did he want. He didn't say a word and kept staring. I saw a thick strong bamboo stick in his hand, which was absurd, who roams around with bamboo stick? I shut the door in his face. 

A few mins later he started knocking hard(using that stick) at the door. I yelled at him to leave me alone and go away. But he did not stop. I shut the glass windows, by the front door, before he could notice. The call was still on and people on the other side of the world were worried :-). I had to drop off the call for obvious reasons. 

It was one of the poshest neighborhoods in Bangalore and it felt surreal. You don't want to call police in India(I've seen a friend being troubled by police), you don't know whether you would get help or just more trouble. It's a gamble. I didn't want to call relatives because I did not want my parents to know. There is not anything they can do but worry.

He started knocking at the windows next and it was loud, very loud. And it was fear inducing. For the first time, it felt like he could maybe break the windows and barge in. I called my housemates but they said it would take them another 30-45 mins to get there. I stuffed my ears with cotton and earplugs and it was still loud. I had to take a refuge in the bathroom, extra door you know. At some point, after 20/25 mins, it stopped but I was scared to get out and check. He was gone by the time my housemates returned. 

I was not hallucinating ;-) because my team members inquired about it during the next call. 

I had totally forgotten about this event. Human brain is intriguing and memory retrieval? , that's simply fascinating! I don't think I am going to forget about it anytime soon.

I am reading 'Approaching the Unconscious' by a Swiss psychologist  Carl Jung and it just made me pause, think and write this post!!